


Buk

by Silvaimagery



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: Original Television Series (Movies)
Genre: AU, Angst, Bonding, F/M, Falling In Love, Friendship, M/M, Major Character Death (temporary), Romance, reference to Star Trek: OTS Movies, sassy!Bones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-03-30 06:23:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3926206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silvaimagery/pseuds/Silvaimagery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Through time and space, destiny has a way of finding you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> _Buk _: fate/destiny__

Stardate 8130

 

I make my way down to engineering.

The radiation would spread over the ship poising all the crew members in a matter of minutes.

It had to be prevented.

We needed to get out of the system before the Reliant detonated.

When I get to engineering, most of the crew members are already down for the count.

I make my way to the chamber housing the warp core.

Leonard hurries to intercept my path.

“Are you out of your Vulcan mind? No human can tolerate the radiation that’s in there.”

I know he’s afraid.

His heart rate is elevated and there is perspiration on his forehead.

“As you are so fond of observing, Doctor, I am not human.”

I try to move around him but he moves to block me again.

I refrain from sighing.

“Leonard.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder and he tries to shove me back.

I hold my ground.

He purses his lips angrily.

“You are not going in there.” He says with finality.

He was not going to make this easy and I did not expect otherwise.

He was unmovable in his convictions.

“Perhaps you’re right.”

His shoulders relax.

“What is Mister Scott’s condition?”

He turns away to look at Mister Scott the way I knew he would.

“Well, I don’t think that he…”

I put my hand at the joint between his neck and shoulder and I apply enough pressure to render him unconscious.

He tries to fight it but he goes down.

I catch him.

“I’m sorry, Doctor. But I have no time to discuss this logically.”

I prop him up into a sitting position.

I turn away before looking back at Leonard.

I had been in his mind many times before so I knew we were compatible.

Was I being irrational?

Without a body what good would it do to preserve it?

Leonard would not be able to live joined this way for long before he became mentally unstable.

Perhaps I was giving in to my human side but I could not walk into that chamber without ensuring that something of me survived.

I knew that once Leonard started behaving strangely, Jim would know something was amiss.

Hopefully he would be wise enough to take Leonard to Vulcan.

The elders would know what to do.

I place my fingers over his meld points.

His mind opens to my presence readily.

“Remember.”

_Remember that I am here. All is not lost._

_Remember to bring my body to Vulcan._

_Remember of what it is I am leaving with you._

_Do not be afraid._

_The Elders will help you. ___

__I close my eyes as I merge our minds and souls together._ _

__He would keep my katra safe._ _

__I gasp as I pass my essence into him._ _

__I open my eyes and look down at his peaceful face._ _

__It was completed._ _

__I press my lips to his temple._ _

__I stand on shaky legs and I make my way into the chamber._ _

__“Spock! Get out of there!” Mister Scott shouts. “Spock!”_ _

__I had to focus._ _

__I would start to lose memories as soon as Leonard woke up._ _

__I block out the noise and I focus on fixing the problem._ _

__“Spock!”_ _

__I look at Leonard._ _

__“Good god, man. Get out of there!” He says banging on the glass._ _

__I finish my task._ _

__Leonard bangs harder on the glass._ _

__I look at him._ _

__“It is done.” I tell him._ _

__I fall to my knees as I am overcome with a dizzy spell._ _

__“Spock!”_ _

__I crawl on my hand and knees closer to him._ _

__He presses his hand to the glass and I can see tears in his eyes._ _

__I recline against the glass._ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__He takes a gasping breath._ _

__“Spock, you fool.”_ _

__“It had to be done.”_ _

__“But at what cost?”_ _

__“The needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few or the one.”_ _

__“Don’t sprout your poetic bull at me right now!”_ _

__“Spock!” Jim says falling on his knees besides Leonard._ _

__“Is the ship out of danger?” I ask him._ _

__He nods._ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__He scrunches up his face as he cries._ _

__“Don’t grieve, Admiral. It is logical.”_ _

__“Don’t speak of logic right now, Spock. God damn it!” Leonard shouts._ _

__I look at Jim._ _

__“I have a confession to make. I never took the Kobayashi Maru test. Until now. What do you think of my solution?”_ _

__Leonard bows his head._ _

__“Spock.” Jim says._ _

__It was getting harder to concentrate on anything besides the pain._ _

__I groan._ _

__Jim presses his hands against the glass._ _

__“Spock.” He says again._ _

__I place my own hand against the glass._ _

__“I have been, and always shall be, your friend.” I tell them._ _

__Leonard presses his forehead against the glass, his face wet with tears._ _

__“Damn it, Spock.”_ _

__Jim holds up his hand in the ta’al._ _

__“Live long and prosper.” I tell them._ _

__I bend my head as I grimace._ _

__The pain was too much._ _

__“No! Spock! SPOCK!”_ _

__“Everything will be alright.” I whisper._ _

__I can hear Jim sobbing._ _

__“Of all the souls I have encountered, yours is the most human.” Leonard whispers fiercely. “And I am honored to call you my friend.”_ _

__My eyes sting with tears._ _

__I look at him._ _

__“It has been an honor to serve with you.” I tell him._ _

__“Spock.”_ _

__I close my eyes._ _

__“We’re going to be alright, Spock. Don’t you worry about anything.”_ _

__*****************************_ _

__I had not seen Spock since he walked down the mountain with his people._ _

__I wipe my eyes._ _

__I had been a crying mess ever since I’d watched Spock die._ _

__I could not believe he was alive again._ _

__I was still mad that he’d put his soul into me without warning but I understood why he did it._ _

__Soon he’d be back to normal and we’d all go home and put this whole things behind us._ _

__I clench my hands._ _

__I had the urge to see him, to be close to him._ _

__Sarek had explained that though Spock’s essence had been returned to his body, I would still be connected to him._ _

__It might explain why I was so anxious._ _

__The chime on the door goes off._ _

__My heart starts racing._ _

__I take a deep breath._ _

__“Control yourself, man. You’re a McCoy for god’s sake.”_ _

__I fix my shirt before walking over and opening the door._ _

__Spock stares at me._ _

__My eyes sting with tears._ _

__“May I enter?”_ _

__I nod._ _

__He comes in, the doors closing behind him._ _

__He walks around inspecting the room before finally turning to look at me._ _

__“I wished to apologize for not speaking to you yesterday.”_ _

__“It’s alright. You had other things on your mind.”_ _

__“Indeed.” He comes closer. “I wish to thank you.”_ _

__“Thanks are not necessary.”_ _

__“On the contrary, Doctor.”_ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__“Call me Leonard. I carried your soul around for days. I think we can be on a first name basis.”_ _

__“Very well.”_ _

__“How do you feel?”_ _

__“I am still missing a few memories.”_ _

__“I’m sure they’ll come back.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__“Spock. I…”_ _

__Damn._ _

__I wipe my eyes._ _

__He puts a hand on my arm._ _

__It was too much._ _

__I fall into his arms a sobbing mess._ _

__He is startled at first but then he rests his hands on my back._ _

__“It is alright.”_ _

__“It is not alright!”_ _

__“I am here now.”_ _

__I tighten my arms around him._ _

__“Don’t you ever do this to me again.”_ _

__He pulls me closer._ _

__“Forgive me.”_ _

__“All that matters is that you are alive and well again.”_ _

__“Indeed.”_ _

__I pull back so that I can look at him._ _

__I cup his face and I stare into his bright dark eyes._ _

__His lips curl into a small smile._ _

__“Spock.” I whisper._ _

__He cards a hand through my hair and I close my eyes._ _

__The feel of his hand sends a shiver all the way down to my toes._ _

__“I have the indescribable urge to kiss you.” He says._ _

__I open my eyes._ _

__“Then what are you waiting for?”_ _

__He presses his lips to mine._ _

__His kiss is soft and hesitant at first._ _

__I run my hands down his back and he pulls tighter against his body._ _

__I groan as the heat of his body surrounds me._ _

__His tongue licks my bottom lip and I open my mouth._ _

__I touch the back of his neck with my fingertips._ _

__“I want to spend the rest of my life by your side, my darling Leonard.” He whispers against my lips._ _

__“Don’t get sentimental on me, Spock.”_ _

__He smiles and pulls back so that he can look at me._ _

__“It is not what you want?”_ _

__“Of course I want it. I’m just finding it hard to say the words. Besides, you still have a lot of life left. I’m old and-”_ _

__“And you still have a long life ahead of you.”_ _

__“Now we both know that’s not true.” I sigh. “I don’t even know what this is. Why do you want to be with me, Spock? Help me understand.”_ _

__“You are afraid.”_ _

__“I’m afraid that what we feel isn’t real.”_ _

__“It is real.”_ _

__“How can you be sure?”_ _

__He cups my face._ _

__“Because you are fascinating.”_ _

__My breath catches in my throat._ _

__“There’s that word.”_ _

__“Yes. And I mean it.”_ _

__“You think I’m fascinating? Why?”_ _

__“Because I finally know what it feels to be in love and it’s all thanks to you.”_ _

__My eyes mist over._ _

__“Damn you, Spock.”_ _

__“Not the romantic declaration I was expecting but I suppose it will do.”_ _

__I laugh._ _

__“Alright. Hold your horses.” I take a deep breath. “Spock.”_ _

__“Yes?”_ _

__“I love you.”_ _

__“I know.”_ _

__“Good. Now, are we doing this or not?”_ _

__“Doing what?”_ _

__“What do you think?”_ _

__I pull away so that I can toe off my shoes._ _

__He stares at me._ _

__I remove my shirt and I start to unbutton my pants._ _

__“Are you just going to stand there and stare?”_ _

__“I wish to watch as your beauty is revealed.”_ _

__“Beauty? Someone has been taking sips of the Romulan ale. I’m old and wrinkly. Tell me exactly what about me is beautiful.”_ _

__He comes closer and he places his hands on my naked chest._ _

__His touch alone was enough to make me feel aroused._ _

__I shiver._ _

__“Everything.”_ _

__“You romantic bastard.”_ _

__I kiss him hard._ _

__We fall onto the bed in a tangle of limbs._ _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s amusing that Sarek (of the Star Trek: OTS Movies) automatically assumes that Spock left his katra with Kirk.

Stardate 2259

I wake to the feel of a whispered touch on my arm.

“Spock.” He whispers.

I smile.

“Leonard.”

I roll onto my back and I stretch my hand out towards the empty side of the bed.

Sorrow washes over me and I find it hard to breathe properly.

I sit up and I force myself to concentrate on my heartbeat.

Some days it was easier to live with the knowledge that my beloved was gone.

Other days it was harder.

Today was going to be a hard day.

I take the holo pic of Leonard in my hand and I stare at his smiling blue eyes.

“Beloved. I wish you could have come on this journey with me. I know that this new young Jim Kirk would have irritated you to no end and it would have been highly amusing to me.”

I smile back at him.

A part of our bond had awoken since I had come back in time.

Probably because he was alive.

But it was not my Leonard aboard that Enterprise.

I put the holo back in its place on my nightstand.

I close my eyes and I try to put the sorrow out of my mind.

I get up out of bed, I shower and then I do my morning meditation before going to meet my father for breakfast.

“Spock.”

“Father.” 

“I hope you had a peaceful rest.”

“Not quite.”

“I see.”

“I have been thinking about Leonard a lot these past few days.”

“Your mate.”

“That is correct.”

“This is the individual who carried your katra.”

“Yes.”

“Do you think you would rest easier if you spoke to him?”

I sigh.

“It has crossed my mind. But I vowed not to interfere.”

“Sometimes it is necessary.”

“Not when it is done out of selfish reasons.”

“Spock.”

“I am not sure if I can be face to face with him again and not see recognition in his eyes.” Tears sting my eyes and I shake my head. “No. I think it is best this way.”

“We both know you will eventually see him.”

“Then let us hope it is on a day when I am in perfect control of my emotions.”

**************************

“Ambassador Spock.”

He inclines his head.

“Mister Spock. I hope you are well.”

“Yes. You?”

“I am fine.”

“Fine is-”

“Unacceptable. I know. Forgive me, it is hard to ignore the human mannerisms I learned from my friends.”

“I understand. To what do I owe this communication?”

He lowers his gaze and I give him a moment to gather his thoughts.

He looks back at me.

“You once asked me to tell you of the journeys I had aboard the Enterprise.”

“I do recall, yes.”

“As you know, I have made a vow never to give you information that could potentially alter your destiny. However, there is something I wish to speak to you about. It has been weighing heavily on my mind.”

“Of what do you wish to speak to me about?”

“Khan Noonien Singh.”

“Khan?”

“I would caution that you avoid any contact with him entirely.”

“Who is this man?”

“He is a genetically engineered human. He is the most dangerous adversary the Enterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you.”

“I see.”

That was alarming.

“Something happened when we encountered him for the second time. A problem with the warp core. Immediate action was required and sacrifices had to be made.”

“What kind of sacrifices?”

“Great ones.”

I wanted to demand more information but I tap it down.

“Did you defeat him?”

“Yes.”

I am imminently glad to hear that.

“I want to give you some advice.”

“About Khan?”

“No. About your katra.”

“I do not understand.”

“I have found that there is only one being capable of carrying it.”

I frown at the screen.

“You passes your katra onto someone else?”

Why would he do that?

“Temporarily, yes.”

“Who?”

“Leonard McCoy.”

I experience a moment of revulsion before I force it down.

“Doctor McCoy?”

“Indeed. I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting his younger counterpart but Leonard was my friend and I trusted him to make the right decision when the time came.”

“But Doctor McCoy is irrational, overemotional. He makes it impossible to have a conversation without it resulting in a confrontation.”

Just speaking about him was making me feel irritated.

He chuckles.

“He is a most fascinating specimen.” He says with fondness.

Fascinating was not the word I would choose to describe Leonard H. McCoy.

“I believe travel through the black hole has altered your memories.” I tell him.

He laughs outright.

“Spock. Believe me when I say that nothing could ever change my memories of Leonard.”

“You really do like him.”

“Yes.” He sighs. “He was my friend and later in life, he became my t’hy’la.”

“Because he carried your katra.”

“Yes. It left us with a connection that could not be denied. He was not strong enough to ignore the pull of our souls and I did not want to.”

“Surely Jim Kirk-”

“He was my dearest friend and I loved him as my brother. But it is Leonard McCoy who will save your soul, Spock. He is caring, fierce, strong and loyal. He will bear this burden for you.”

Perhaps I had misjudged the Doctor.

Further research was required.

“Very well. I will take your advice.”

“Good. If it can be avoided, please do so. If not, remember that all will not be lost.”

We speak for nine point six minutes more.

Mostly about our father and the state of the colony.

When I sign off, I take time to ponder the new information.

Was it possible that the disruption in the timeline had drastically changed not only the events but the people as well?

Could Leonard McCoy from my counterpart’s reality be completely different from this one?

Or was my judgment clouded by negative reactions to the outspoken doctor?

The chime on the door goes off.

“Enter.”

Nyota comes into the room.

I stand.

“Spock. Time for lunch.”

“Very well.”

I follow her down to the mess hall.

The first thing I hear as I enter is Jim’s laughter and McCoy’s loud voice.

I stare at them.

Jim’s head is bowed, his face flushed.

His mouth is open and he is laughing without reservation.

Doctor McCoy is looking at Jim, his mouth stretched in a smile and he gestures wildly with his arms as he speaks.

“Spock?”

I look at Nyota.

“Are you alright?”

“I am well.”

I move towards the replicator and I order the vegetarian soup.

I follow Nyota to a table.

Her friends greet her and soon they are in a conversation that is of no importance to me.

I take sip of the soup before I look to where McCoy and Jim are seated.

Close contact would be the most efficient way for me to obtain the sufficient data I needed.

I stand.

Nyota looks at me.

“Excuse me. I need to speak with the Captain.”

“Okay.”

I grab my tray and I make my way two tables down from my previous position.

McCoy and Jim look up at me as I stand before them.

“Spock.” Jim smiles. “Have a seat, buddy. I’m surprised to see you here.”

“That’s an understatement.” McCoy mutters.

I take a seat next to the Captain and across from McCoy.

The Doctor eyes me suspiciously.

“What’s the matter, Commander?” McCoy smirks. “Was there not enough stimulating conversation back with the ladies?”

“Indeed there was but not for me.” I answer.

Jim chuckles and he claps me on my back.

I look at him.

“Well. Good thing you came over. Bones and I need an impartial opinion.”

“I would be glad to help.”

“I bet you would.”

My irritation level was rising.

“If there is something you wish to say, Doctor. Then by all means.”

“I forgot that you welcome free speech.” He glares.

“Guys.”

“Speak your mind and let us be done with this childish behavior.”

“Oh. So now I’m childish?”

“You are incorrect. You were always childish.”

“Why you green blooded-”

“That’s enough!”

McCoy and I glare at each other.

“Can we just have a conversation where you guys don’t immediately go for each others throat?” Jim asks.

“Impossible if the Doctor continues to act so illogical.”

“Shove it up your green ass, Commander.” McCoy says standing.

I watch him depart.

Jim sighs.

“I guess that answers my question.” He says.


	3. Chapter 3

I try different tactics in approaching the Doctor.

I try to be friendly, inquisitive, calm, aloof, attentive, sarcastic.

I try apologizing for any previous offence.

I suggest we start over.

None of it works.

It was frustrating and maddening.

“Spock.”

I look up at Jim.

“Captain.”

“Can we talk?”

“Of course.”

I follow him to his ready room.

I stand at attention.

“Have a seat.”

I sit down.

“Bones told me you’ve been following him around.”

“I have not.”

“He seems to think you are.”

“I am merely trying to end this ‘bad blood’ between us. He is making it very difficult.”

He smiles.

“Bones likes to be difficult.”

“In excess.”

He chuckles.

“Don’t give up, Spock. You’ll break through those walls eventually.”

“It is difficult to be optimistic when it comes to Doctor McCoy.”

“Just keep at it.”

“If I may make a personal query.”

“Shoot.”

“How did you become his friend?”

“I met Bones when we were both at our worst. He had just gotten a divorce and he’d lost his right as a parent. I had been forced to realize that no matter how much I tried not to be, I was my father’s son and Starfleet was where I belonged. I had just had my ass handed to me by Cupcake and Pike. Bones was drunk off his ass and spouting nightmare-ish shit you never want to hear when you’re in a shuttle. Anyway, it was fun. We bonded over our shitty lives and we’ve been best buds since then.”

“I see.”

“Look. Bones is an open book, you just have to know how to read him.”

I cock my head.

“You are implying that Doctor McCoy is a very easy man to know.”

“Yes.”

“I have found that not to be true.”

“Because you’re looking at it from a logical point of view. We’re human, Spock. We do not work on logic, we work on emotion.”

“I see.”

“I’m going to tell you something that you can never let Bones know.”

“Alright.”

“Secretly he admires you.”

I sit back.

“Shocking, I know. But it’s the truth. The two of you are more alike than you think.” He smiles. “Just look at it this way: how would you become friends with a more illogical version of yourself?”

“Thank you, Captain. You have given me a lot to think about.”

“Hey, it’s what friends are for.”

**************************

“Jesus Christ.” He sighs. “What do you want now?”

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“For what?”

“For misjudging you. I have made a great error of judgment.”

He uncrosses his arms.

It was a start.

“You made a mistake? What is this universe coming to?”

His face is serious but the corners of his eyes crinkle.

I relax my facial muscles.

I take a seat so that I am lower than him.

His shoulders relax.

“All this time I have been under the false assumption that you encouraged Jim’s solution to the Kobayashi Maru exam.”

He takes a seat across from me.

“Why the hell did you think that?”

“Because you smuggled him aboard the Enterprise.”

“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just abandon him back on earth.”

Loyalty, compassion.

Perhaps my counterpart had not been mistaken.

“In hindsight, you made the right decision.” I tell him.

He frowns.

“I did?”

“Of course. Had you not brought Jim aboard we would have ended up like the rest of the ships Nero destroyed. Jim’s knowledge of the events that transpired the day his father died were invaluable.”

“I guess.”

“As I have already stated, I made the wrong assumptions and I apologize.”

He nods.

“Apology accepted. Look, I told that idiot kid not to do anything stupid. He was frustrated that he couldn’t beat the test. I told him that was the point but Jim, he just can’t accept that sometimes we can’t win them all. I know it has to do with his dad. He needs to prove he belongs, that he’s worthy. That part I blame of his mom.”

“I am not familiar with Jim’s home situation. I know of the sacrifice his father made and I know of his mother’s service.”

“It’s a mess. I don’t know how that kid turned out to be half normal. But he’s still got issues. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean he’s not fit for command.”

“I understand. There are memories and emotions people would rather not speak of.”

“Yeah.”

He is silent and I take the moment to study him.

Is this man the same my counterpart knew and loved?

Or is he a newly unique creature? One that only I am supposed to know?

He look at me.

“How are you dealing with everything that’s happened?”

“There are times when it is difficult to come to terms with the events. I am glad we were able to save so many of my people but we lost our planet. Nothing can ever replace Vulcan. It was my home, it is where I felt loved. And I miss my mother greatly. There are moments when I need her advice.”

He blinks rapidly.

“Yeah.” He says quietly. 

“However, my relationship with my father is stronger than before.”

“You and your old man weren’t close before?”

“I left Vulcan against his wishes.”

“Ah.”

“We had not spoken in years.”

“Wow. Vulcan’s can keep a grudge.”

“Indeed. You might not believe this but Vulcan’s are much more emotional than humans.”

“You certainly made that clear.”

I know we are both recalling the confrontation between myself and Jim.

“Jim told me there’s another Spock.”

“Indeed there is.”

“Good Lord, I was hoping the kid was just messing with me.”

My lips twitch and I ignore the need to tap it down.

“I think the two of you would get along.”

“Bite your tongue.”

“He is different from me.”

“Meaning what?”

“That he is much more in touch with is human side.”

“Hmm. Well, I guess-”

“Excuse me, Doctor.” Nurse Chapel says coming in.

I stand.

“I have taken enough of your time.” I tell McCoy.

“We are out in space, Spock. I have more than enough time.”

I incline my head.

“I found this conversation to be very enlightening. I am satisfied with the outcome.”

“In a weird way, I am glad we talked. I guess you’re not such an asshole.” He smiles.

“I shall take that as a compliment.”

He nods.

“You do that, Commander.”

I nod at Nurse Chapel as I exit.

I can feel his eyes on my back as I depart his office and I straighten my shoulders.

I resist the urge to look back at him.


	4. Chapter 4

I watch Spock leave my office.

Christine sits in the chair Spock just vacated.

I look at her.

“So. Tell me everything.” She smiles.

“About what?”

“About you and Mister Spock.”

“There is nothing to tell. He just came down to apologize.”

“Is he your friend now? The two of you seemed to be enjoying your conversation.”

“I don’t know.”

“Len.”

“You are reading too much into this. He’s probably just doing it so Jim won’t be mad at him anymore.”

“Oh, come on.”

“Did you need something or did you just come in to bother me?”

“I saw Spock come in here and when he didn’t leave immediately I thought he might have killed you so I came to check.”

I glare at her.

“Get back to work.”

“Sure thing, Doc.” She salutes before standing and leaving.

I shake my head.

“I get no respect.”

I felt like I had connected with Spock.

He was still weird but I knew where he was coming from.

He had lost everything and he still didn’t let that get him down.

He carried his broken heart behind a mask of control.

I wish I could do that.

I look at my computer screen.

I was tempted to contact New Vulcan and speak with the other Spock.

I wanted to see just how different he was from this Spock.

We were in range, the call would go through.

But if Jim found out he would never let me live it down.

Or worse. I might actually like the old Spock.

I chew on my bottom lip.

“To hell with it. Computer, put a call in to New Vulcan.”

**************************

“Spock.”

I look at Nyota.

“Can we talk?”

“Is that not what we are doing?”

She rolls her eyes.

“You know what I mean.” She smiles.

I nod.

“What did you want to talk about?”

I take a bite of my salad.

“I just feel like we’re not the same people we were back on earth.”

“Indeed we are not.”

“It just seems like you’re shutting me out.”

“It was never my intention to make you feel thus.”

“No. I know that. You’ve been through a lot and I know that you’re just trying to protect yourself. It’s also partially my fault to be honest.”

She puts her fork down.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been thinking things through and I just don’t think I’m ready for a commitment.”

“Is this in reference to the conversation we had?”

“Yes. I love you Spock. But I just don’t see myself as a wife or mother. I am an officer first and foremost. I’m sorry.”

She touches the back of my hand.

I refrain from telling her that there was a high probability that I was sterile.

“Do not concern yourself, Nyota.”

Indeed, I was relieved she had terminated our relationship.

“I just don’t want us to stop being friends.”

“I will always be your friend.”

She dabs at the corner of her eyes with her napkin.

“You’re too good to me, Spock.”

“Indeed I am.”

She chuckles.

****************************

I take a couple deep breaths as I wait for my call to be patched through to Spock.

Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.

I extend my hand to push the disconnect button.

A weathered face comes on screen.

I drop my hand.

He stares at me, his eyes are wide and he opens his mouth but he doesn’t say anything.

I take a shaky breath.

It was like his eyes were baring me open.

He closes his mouth and he inclines his head.

“Leonard McCoy.” He says quietly.

I nod.

“Yeah. That’s me. You must be this famous Spock I’ve been hearing about.”

My heart was hammering in my chest.

Control yourself, man!

His dark alien eyes catalogue my face.

“You look….well.”

“Thank you?”

His lips twitch.

“I suppose you have a reason for contacting me.” He says.

“I need your advice.”

“My advice?”

“I think Spock is trying to be my friend. Or he’s luring me into a false sense of security before killing me. I’m not sure which yet. I need you to tell me which scenario is more probable.”

He starts laughing.

I stare at him.

Spock was right.

This Spock was more human.

He wipes his eyes.

“I have missed your company greatly, _ashayam _.”__

__His eyes are fond as they look at me and he doesn’t lose the smile._ _

__“I wanted to thank you.”_ _

__“For what?”_ _

__“For saving Jim.”_ _

__“Actually, I thought he was there to rescue me.”_ _

__I snort._ _

__“How did it feel to know that he needed you to save him and not the other way around?”_ _

__“Like old times.”_ _

__“I bet.” I bite my lip. “Tell me about me. About your Leonard, I mean.”_ _

__He sighs._ _

__“You are too young. I knew Leonard later in life.”_ _

__“So I was an old man.”_ _

__He cocks an eyebrow._ _

__“Not that old.”_ _

__“Uh-huh. You’re just saying that cause Vulcans live to be like five hundred or something.”_ _

__He chuckles._ _

__“Or something.”_ _

__I smile._ _

__“You were always suspicious of my motives, you argued, and you liked to call me names.”_ _

__“So basically in every reality I’m a bastard.”_ _

__“Basically.”_ _

__I laugh._ _

__“Gee, thanks.”_ _

__“I am glad that Nero did not damage who you are. It would have been a shame to lose you, Leonard.”_ _

__His words warm my heart._ _

__“I’m guessing we were friends.”_ _

__“We were.”_ _

__“I can’t imagine a world where me calling you a pointy-eared bastard is an endearment.”_ _

__“Neither can I.”_ _

__I snort._ _

__“You’re a funny Vulcan.”_ _

__“Was that an insult?”_ _

__“No. Yes? I don’t know.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__“Most of my humor I got from you.”_ _

__“You must be a riot then.”_ _

__He shrugs._ _

__“I try.”_ _

__“Tell me more about me. What other differences do you notice besides me being younger?”_ _

__“You had blue eyes. As for the rest of you, I’d have to check you over in person.”_ _

__I sit back._ _

__“Spock, are you coming on to me?”_ _

__His lips curl into a smirk._ _

__“And if I was?”_ _

__“You’re a dirty old man.”_ _

__He laughs._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ashayam _: beloved__


	5. Chapter 5

“I don’t want to feel like I’m hiding something from you so I’m just going to come out and say it.”

I look at Leonard.

“I talked to Spock.”

“You spoke with my counterpart?”

Irritation makes its way through my shields.

I force it back down.

It was illogical to feel this way.

“Yeah.”

I sit back.

“And what did you find?”

“That you were right. Oh my god, I can’t believe I said that. Do me a favor, stab me in the chest with this fork.”

I stretch my hand towards the utensil.

He grabs it quickly.

“Are you insane? I was just kidding.”

It was hard to stop myself from smiling when he looked so unsettled.

“Were you?”

He frowns at me.

“I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or not.”

“Good.”

He shakes his head.

“Damn Vulcan.” He mutters into his cup of coffee.

“If I may ask, what exactly was I right about?”

He sighs angrily.

“About old Spock.”

“I see.”

“He’s a delight. There, are you happy?”

Indeed I was not.

“Why can’t you be that laid back and cool?”

“Because I have you to deal with.” I say.

He glares at me.

“He seemed to get along just fine with his Leonard.”

I raise an eyebrow.

“And do you wish us to have the same relationship they had?”

“I’m not exactly sure of their relationship but maybe half and half?”

“I do not understand.”

“I mean-”

“What’s this? My two best buds sitting together and having breakfast? Are we on an alternate universe?” Jim says walking up to the table.

“If we were then I’d find you less annoying.”

Jim laughs and sits down next to Leonard.

“This is great! I never thought I’d see the two of you sitting here without shouting at each other.”

“Maybe we want to shout at you for a change.”

Jim waves a dismissive hand.

“So, tell me. What were you guys talking about?”

Jim starts eating from Leonard’s plate and Leonard pretends to be irritated but I notice that he does not move his plate away.

“The Doctor was just telling me that he contacted New Vulcan.”

“New Vulcan? Bones, why would you….oh my god!”

“Shut up.”

“Bones, why did you call New Vulcan?” Jim smirks.

Leonard rolls his eyes.

“To see if they were taking any recruits.”

“Bones, Bones, Bones, Bones, Bones.”

Jim’s childish behavior was beginning to grate on my nerves.

“Alright! I talked to old Spock.”

“I knew it!”

“Whatever. It’s not a big deal.”

“You like him don’t you?”

I stare at Leonard.

“And what if I did?”

Jim shrugs.

“It just goes to show you what a cool guy Spock is going to be.”

“Yeah, when he’s three hundred.”

They both chuckle.

“As I have explained to you before-”

“Relax, Spock. We’re just kidding. I think you’re a cool guy already. And now that the two of you are friends, I think it’s time that we all spend some down time together.”

I hide my wince.

“No way.”

“Bones. Be cool.”

“Alright then. Why don’t we all go camping? We could sing campfire songs under the stars.”

“I just meant that we could all benefit from spending more time with each other.”

“A minute with you is more than enough.”

“I agree with Doctor McCoy.”

“Don’t agree with me, Spock. It makes me feel weird.”

“Guys, guys. Come on! I’m only asking that we spend some good amount of bro time together. Why is it so hard for you guys to commit to this awesome relationship?”

Leonard and I stare at each other.

“He’s not going to stop.”

“I agree.”

“Hey, you guys can’t gang up on me. I’m the jelly in this awesome sandwich.”

Leonard narrows his eyes at Jim.

“Jim, there’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“Shoot.”

Jim fills his mouth with an abundant amount of food.

“Did that old Vulcan bastard come on to you while you were down there all alone with him?”

Jim starts choking.

“Jim. Did he molest you?”

Jim tries to speak but he is still coughing.

Leonard smiles at me over Jim’s bowed head.

“This should shut him up for a while. Now would be the time to escape.”

I stand.

“Doctor…”

“You’re welcome.” He tells me. “Now come on.”

I follow him out of the mess hall.

Perhaps it will not be so bad to have Leonard on my side.

**************************

“Spock. Come with me.”

“Yes, Captain.”

I follow Jim to the holding cell.

We stand before John Harrison.

“Why is there a man in that torpedo?”

“There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there.”

Jim and I look at each other.

Why would he do such a thing?

Did he plan to destroy the beings with the weapon or was he hiding them for some reason?

“What exactly are you? Because I know for a fact that you are not just a human.”

“A remnant of a time long pass.”

“Answer the question.” I tell him.

He looks at me.

“I have been genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war.”

“Why are you here?”

“We were condemned as criminals, forced into exile.”

“We?”

“Yes. My people and I. For centuries we slept, hoping that when we awoke, things would be different. But as a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My ship was found adrift. I alone was revived.”

“Who are you? Why are you pretending to be a Starfleet officer?”

Harrison is silent.

“I looked up John Harrison. Until a year ago, he didn’t exist.”

“John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken.”

“Why were you given a false identity?” I ask.

“Admiral Marcus needed me to help him advance his cause.”

I frown.

“Why would a Starfleet Admiral ask a 300 year old frozen man for help?”

“Because I am better.”

“Better? At what?”

“Everything.”

“I do not understand.” I say.

Harrison sighs.

“Alexander Marcus needed to respond to an uncivilized threat in a civilized time and for that he needed a warrior’s mind. My mind.”

“You are suggesting the Admiral violated every regulation he vowed to uphold simply because he wanted to exploit your intellect.”

“He wanted to exploit my savagery. Intellect alone is useless in a fight, Mister Spock. You can’t even break a rule. How would you be expected to break bone?”

“Assuming that we believe all of this, how would Marcus benefit from your intellect?”

“Marcus used me to design weapons. To help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet. He sent you to use those weapons. To fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. And then he purposely crippled your ship in enemy space, leading to one inevitable outcome.”

“Which is what?”

“War.”

“What war? With who?”

“The Klingons, who else? You know very well that they will come searching for whomever is responsible for the chaos you caused back on Kronos. And you have no chance of escape. Marcus will finally have the war he talked about. The war he always wanted.”

“No. I don’t believe you.”

“It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Kirk. It’s the truth.”

“According to you! I watched you open fire in a room full of unarmed Starfleet officers. You killed them in cold blood!”

“Marcus took my crew from me!”

“You are a murderer!”

“Captain.”

“He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed. But I was discovered and I had no choice but to escape alone.”

“Save your sob story. I’m not interested.”

Khan looks at Jim.

“I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed every single one of the people I hold most dear. So I responded in kind.”

“That’s supposed to make me feel better about what you did? About the people you killed that day?”

“My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”

I can see Jim is becoming emotionally manipulated.

“I recommend an end to this conversation, Captain.”

Jim ignores me.

“Who the hell are you?”

“My name is Khan.”

I stare at the man in the holding cell.

He stares back and slowly, his lips spread into a smile.

I tap down a shiver of fear.


	6. Chapter 6

“Captain Kirk, without authorization and in league with the fugitive John Harrison, you went rogue in enemy territory, leaving me no choice but to hunt you down and destroy you. Lock phasers.”

I stand from my seat.

“Wait, sir, wait! Wait!”

“I’ll make this quick. Target all aft torpedoes on the Enterprise bridge.”

Nyota comes to stand by my side.

I can feel how emotionally distressed she is.

“Sir, my crew was just following my orders. I take full responsibility for my actions. But they were mine and they were mine alone. If I transmit Khan’s location to you now, all that I ask is that you spare them. Please, sir. I’ll do anything you want, just let them live.”

“That’s a hell of an apology but if it’s any consolation, I was never going to spare your crew. Fire when ready.”

Communication is cut off.

Nyota’s breath hitches in her throat and she takes my hand.

Jim turns to address the crew members.

“I’m sorry.”

I close my eyes and I try to center myself.

Even if Leonard managed to survive, I was too far away to reach him in time.

“Their weapons have powered down, sir.” Mister Sulu says.

“What?”

“Enterprise! Can you hear me?”

“Scotty!”

“Guess what I found behind Jupiter?”

“Oh thank god.”

I move to help Jim into his chair before he collapses on the floor.

“I snuck on board this ship. But, uhh, seeing as how I’ve just committed an act of treason against a Starfleet Admiral, I’d really like to get off this bloody ship. Now beam me out!”

“Oh, Scotty. You’re a miracle worker.”

“Thank you. Where are we on the beaming out?”

“We’re a little low on power right now. Just stand by.”

“What do you mean “low on power”? What happened to the Enterprise? Oh, shit. I’m going to have to call you back”

“Scotty? Scotty!”

“Sir, we’ve lost communication with Mister Scott.” Nyota says.

“Well, try to get it back!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Spock. Our ship, how is she?”

“Our options are limited, Captain. We cannot fire and we cannot flee.”

“That’s limited alright. But thankfully, there is still one option left. Uhura, when you get Scotty back, patch him through.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Mister Spock, you have the conn.”

He was going to ask Khan for help.

I follow him onto the lift.

“Captain, I strongly object.”

“To what? I haven’t said anything yet.”

“Since we cannot take the ship from the outside, the only way we can take it is from within. And as a large boarding party would be detected, it is optimal for you to take as few members of the crew as possible. And since you will need personnel with advanced combat abilities and innate knowledge of the ship, I have come to the conclusion that you will align with Khan.”

I follow him off the lift and down the corridor.

“I’m not aligning with him, I’m using him. ‘The enemy of my enemy is my friend’.”

“Curious choice of a proverb as it is attributed to an Arab prince who was betrayed and decapitated by his own subjects.”

“It’s still a hell of a quote.”

“I will go with you.”

“No, I need you on the bridge.”

“I do not trust Khan-”

“Then trust me.”

“Jim.”

“Spock.”

I block his path.

“It is my function aboard this ship to advice you on making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing in this moment.”

“You done?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You still have the conn.”

He walks around me and continues on his way.

I sigh and I clench my hands in frustration.

Sometimes I wanted to bash his head against the arm rest the Captain’s chair just to see if that improved his thinking capability.

I shake my head.

Perhaps I was socializing too much with Leonard or maybe he was just too much of a bad influence.

I make my way back to the bridge.

***************************

I grab Spock’s arm and I lead him out into the corridor.

“Doctor.”

“Don’t you ‘doctor’ me right now, Spock. Goddamn it!”

“Please control yourself.”

“You…you…ugh!”

I pace away.

I needed to punch something.

“Are you well, Doctor?”

I whirl back around to look at him.

“You let that idiot kid go with that psycho.”

“He was quite adamant that he knew what he was doing.”

“Of course he was. He always is until the shit hits the fan.”

“I do not understand.”

“Sure you don’t.”

He crosses his arms behind his back.

I take a deep breath and I unclench my hands.

“It means that Jim is always sure of his stupid plans until they blow up in his face.”

“Contrary to your belief, the Captain is quite capable of making decision.”

“I know that, he just doesn’t always make the right ones and he just ends up putting his life in danger.”

“Why would he do that?”

“Because he doesn’t know any better!”

His face becomes frostier and he glances at the crew members who are looking at us.

He looks back at me.

“If you are finished with your theatrics, Doctor. I have a ship to run.”

He turns and walks back into the bridge.

“What are you looking at? Back to work!” I say.

The crew members scatter.

Fuck.

I take a few deep breaths before following Spock back into the bridge.

“Captain, before you launch, you should be aware that there is a considerable debris field between our ships.” Spock says.

“Spock, not now. Scotty, you good?” 

Idiot kid! I was going to wring his neck when he came back.

Because he would come back.

Okay.

Cool and calm.

Cool and calm.

We might all die today but everything was just fine.

I kneel next to the Captain’s chair.

“Alright, look. I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

I glace at Spock but he doesn’t show any indication that he heard me.

Bastard.

Sulu glances back at me.

I glare at him until he faces forward again.

“Just tell me this is going to work.” I say quietly.

“I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor.”

“So basically we’re all fucked.”

“Indeed.”

“Boy, you’re a real comfort.”

“Perhaps it would be best if you-”

“I’m staying right here.” I say standing.

I take my place right behind his right shoulder.

“Very well.”

“Spock, pull the trigger.” Jim says.

“Yes, Captain. Launching activation sequence on three, two, one.”

Oh god, please let that kid come back in one piece.

“Sir, the Captain is headed for collision at .432.”

Shit.

I pace away.

I didn’t have the stomach to be here.

Give me guts and blood any day but not this suspense.

My stomach is in knots until I hear Jim say that he’s made it onto the other ship.

I sag in relief.

“Oh thank god.”

Spock stands from his chair.

“Lieutenant, I need you to assemble all senior medical and engineering staff in the weapons bay.” He tells Uhura.

What was he up to?

“Alright.”

I walk up to him.

He turns to look at me.

“Doctor McCoy, you inadvertently activated a torpedo.”

“Yeah. And?”

“Could you replicate the process?”

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Why the hell would I want to do that?”

“Can you or can you not?”

“Damn it, man. I’m a doctor, not a torpedo technician!”

“The fact that you are a doctor is precisely why I need you to listen very carefully.”

“I’ll listen, doesn’t mean I’ll like it.”

“I need you to remove the cryo tubes from within the torpedoes. Then I need you to activate the weapons.”

“Are you insane?”

“Khan cannot be trusted and it is only a matter of time before he uses the Captain against us in order to retrieve his crew.”

“You’ve got it all figured out don’t you?”

“Save for one detail. Can you do it or not?”

“I can do it.”

“Good.”


	7. Chapter 7

I feel satisfaction to see the torpedoes detonate and blast pieces of the other ship into space.

“Not bad, Commander.”

He looks at me.

“Doctor McCoy, perhaps you better get down to engineering to help Mister Scott. It would be in our best interest to get this ship functional again.”

Engineering?

“Damn it, man! I’m a doctor, not an engineer.”

He smirks.

“You seemed to do just fine with the torpedoes.”

“No thanks to you.”

“You have your orders, Doctor.” He says walking around me.

Where the hell was Jim?

“Damn pointy eared bastard.” I mutter before leaving the bridge.

I make my way to engineering.

Everything starts to tilt and I make a run for it.

“Scotty! What the hell is going on?”

“Oh, no. No!”

“What is it? What’s the problem?”

“The warp core. It’s misaligned. There’s no way we can redirect the power!” He shouts.

“Okay. Scotty, just calm down.”

“I cannot calm myself, man! The ship is dead and she’s taking us with her.”

“There has to be another way.”

“There is none. We cannot go into the room and manually fix the warp core. The radiation will kill us.”

I close my eyes.

Damn it.

“Where there’s a will there’s a way.”

“Eh? What did you say?”

“Never mind. I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I punch Scotty in the face before making a run for the room housing the warp core.

“Oy! What are you doing?”

“I have to get in there!”

“You can’t. That there door is there to keep us from getting irradiated! You’ll be dead before you make the climb!”

“I have to do this. I’m sorry.”

I open the door and I run in before Scotty can try and stop me.

Scotty bands on the glass door.

“Leonard!”

I crawl through the tube to get to the warp core.

I just had to pick a task that involved climbing.

“I hate heights.”

I ignore the nausea and the dizziness and I force myself to climb my way to the warp core.

There was no way I was going to move that thing with my hands.

Time to show this machine some southern love.

I hold on to the top rail and I bang the damn thing with my feet.

“Come on you son of a bitch. Move!”

I hit it with all my might.

It realigns but my celebration is short lived as the beam hits me and sends me flying.

I land harder than I expected.

I shake my head trying to get the black spots from dancing in front of my eyes.

I make my way back the way I had come.

Scotty kneels by the door.

“Leonard, you bloody fool.”

I rest against the glass door.

****************************

“Yes!” The Captain shouts. “Sulu, get us the hell out of here.”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s a miracle.” One of the crewmember says.

“There are no such things.” 

“Come on, Spock. Believe a little.” Jim tells me.

“Engineering to bridge.”

“Kirk here.”

“Captain. You better get down here. Better hurry.”

I get an uneasy feeling.

“On my way. Spock.”

We run all the way down to engineering.

Mister Scott is waiting for us.

“Scotty?”

Mister Scott shakes his head and he takes a shaky breath.

“Where is Leonard?” I ask.

“He’s in there.”

No.

I hurry to the door.

No!

“What? Scotty, what happened?”

“He went in. I tried to stop him.”

Leonard looks up at me.

“Mister Spock.” He says.

“Bones! Bones, you idiot.” Jim says running up.

“It had to be done, kid. There was no other way.”

I look at Mister Scott.

“Open it.” I demand.

“The decontamination process is not complete. You’d flood the whole compartment. The door’s locked, sir.”

Jim starts crying.

“It’s alright, Jim. It’s okay.”

He falls to his knees.

“Bones. You can’t leave me. What am I supposed to do without you?”

“We all have to grow up sometime. Besides, I’ll always be with you.”

My emotions were overwhelming and I cannot keep them at bay.

“Captain. Might I have a moment with Doctor McCoy?”

“Bones. I love you.”

My eyes sting with tears.

“I love you too, kid. Promise me you’ll take better care of yourself.”

“I swear.” Jim says between gasping breaths.

“Good. Go on, give the hobgoblin the chance to chew me out for my careless behavior.”

Jim presses his forehead to the glass before turning his head away.

Mister Scott helps him stand.

They move away.

I stare down at Leonard.

“Are you just gonna stand there and judge me?”

I go down to my knees before him.

“I should never have sent you down here. It wasn’t supposed to be you.”

“You’re not making sense.”

He winces in pain.

“Leonard.”

“Is the ship safe?”

“Yes. You saved the crew.”

“I just did what had to be done. It’s what you would have done, isn’t it?”

I nod.

“It is.”

“It was only logical, Spock.”

I gasp.

I feel like my heart was being ripped out of me.

“Spock. Never thought I’d be saying this to you but I’m scared.”

“I am here, _ashayam _.”__

__My voice trembles and I cannot stop myself from crying._ _

__“I need you to help me not to feel.”_ _

__“I don’t know how. I am feeling too much at the moment.”_ _

__His eyes pool with tears._ _

__“Please don’t cry, Spock.”_ _

__“I cannot help it.”_ _

__“I’m sorry.”_ _

__He presses his hand to the glass and I press mine against his._ _

__“You are my friend.” He whispers._ _

__“I shall be your friend till the moment I take my last breath.” I swear._ _

__“Please go. I don’t want you to see me like this.”_ _

__“I will not leave you when you need me the most.”_ _

__His forehead rests against the glass and his eyes close._ _

__“Stubborn Vulcan.”_ _

__“Perfectly illogical human.”_ _

__He smiles._ _

__“I love you, Spock.”_ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__He takes a shuddering breath and his hand falls from the glass._ _

__“Leonard.” I bang on the glass but he remains unresponsive. “Leonard!”_ _

__“Spock.” Jim says placing a hand on my shoulder. “He’s gone.”_ _

__NO!_ _

__My heart rate spikes and all I can see is the face of the man responsible._ _

__“KHAN!!”_ _

__“Captain, enemy ship has just crashed on earth. Close to headquarters.”_ _

__I hurry to the bridge, Jim right behind me._ _

__“Search the enemy ship for signs of life.” I order once I step onto the bridge._ _

__“Sir, there’s no way anyone survived.” Mister Sulu tells me._ _

__“We have to be sure.” Jim says. “Check for survivors, Mister Sulu.”_ _

__“Aye, aye, Captain.”_ _

__“Single life force detected.”_ _

__“On screen.”_ _

__I stand in front of the viewing screen._ _

__Khan’s image comes up._ _

__“Whoa! He just jumped thirty meters.”_ _

__“Can we beam him aboard?” I ask._ _

__“There’s too much damage. I have no incoming signal.” Chekov says._ _

__“Then beam me down.” I order._ _

__“Spock.” Jim says._ _

__“I have to do this.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__“Go get that son of a bitch.”_ _

__I hurry to the transporter room._ _

__“Beam me down.”_ _

__“Yes, sir.”_ _

__The streets are filled with people._ _

__I check to my right but I do not see Khan._ _

__I look to my left._ _

__He stares back at me before turning and running._ _

__I chase after him._ _

__He would not get away._ _

__Leonard would be avenged._ _

__When I finally get my hands on Khan, I put Surak’s teachings out of my mind._ _

__I fight Khan the way my barbarian ancestors did._ _

__His blood covers my knuckles and even then I do not stop._ _

__“Spock! Spock, stop!”_ _

__I ignore Nyota._ _

__“Spock! Doctor M’Benga thinks he can save Leonard but Khan has to be alive!”_ _

__I look at her._ _

__She nods her head._ _

__“We need Khan alive.”_ _

__I look down at Khan._ _

__He looks up at me._ _

__I wanted nothing more than to bash his head against the ship and watch his skull break open._ _

__But if he could save Leonard._ _

__I force my savagery down._ _

__“I was wrong about you, Mister Spock. You can break bone.”_ _

__“And next time I see you, I will kill you.”_ _

__I nerve pinch him and he goes under._ _


	8. Chapter 8

“Mister Spock.”

“Ambassador.”

“Our father informed just a few minutes ago that you and Jim would be taking your shore leave here.”

“Indeed.”

“It is good to see you.”

“And you.”

“May I ask, where is Leonard? I have tried to contact him but I have not received a response.”

Guilt makes my belly churn uncomfortably.

“Spock?”

I avert my gaze.

He comes closer.

“Has something happened?”

I look at him.

“It would be best if we had this conversation in private.”

“Alright.”

I lead him back to our father’s house.

“So, tell me.”

I turn to face him.

“We ran into Khan.”

He closes his eyes.

“Events were not the same as they were when you met him. It’s my fault.”

He sits down and I take a seat across from him.

He crosses his arms over his chest.

“Leonard is dead isn’t he?”

“No. He still lives.”

He looks at me.

“How?”

“Khan’s blood.”

He sighs and I watch him place a hand to his chest.

“It gladdens me to hear he has not been lost.”

“The doctors are not sure he can fully recover. He might be lost already.”

“We must have faith.”

“Faith is a concept that eludes me.” My eyes sting with tears. “I sent him to his death.”

“Spock.”

I stand and pace away.

I clench my shaking hands into fists.

“I don’t even know why I did it. There is no logical explanation for it. I should have kept him on the bridge with me.”

“You thought you were out of danger, that Khan had been defeated.”

I look at him.

“It still doesn’t explain why I told him to go down there! It was not his place.”

He stands.

“You are extremely emotional over this.”

I frown at him.

“Do not tell me you are not experiencing deep emotional distress to hear that Leonard might be lost to us.”

“I will not since it is the truth. I would have mourned his passing the same way I did the first time I saw him die.”

“Then I do not understand why you-”

“I am emotional because Leonard was once my t’hy’la.”

I close my mouth.

“But as I understand, this Leonard has only recently become your friend.” He crosses his arms behind his back. “Is there something you wish to confide to me?”

“Leonard is my friend.”

“Yes. I believe I have stated that already. But that is not all he is, is he?”

“No.” I say quietly.

He nods.

“Come. Sit down.”

I sit back down.

“Spock. There are a few things you must know.”

“Alright.”

“One: Leonard is a romantic at heart. Make sure you surprise him once in a while with a loving gesture. I found it is very much appreciated after a hard tiring day. Two: don’t hide your thoughts and feelings from him no matter how uncomfortable they might make you feel. Three: don’t stop arguing with him just because you love him. He finds the debates stimulating and he uses them as a means to learn more of you. Finally, do not be afraid of what loving a human entails. He will give you his life, make sure you return the gesture.”

I nod.

“Good. Now, if you would kindly inform me of Leonard’s location. I would like to see him.”

After my counterpart leaves, I take the time to meditate and put my thoughts in order.

Leonard had already stated he loved me.

Now it was my turn to confess my feelings for him.

******************************

I stare down at the young man.

I sit down beside his unconscious body and I take his hand in mine.

He was so different but inherently the same.

His soul had remained intact despite the changes in the timeline and it called to me.

I comb his hair back from his forehead the way he liked it.

“Leonard.”

There is movement behind his closed eyelids but he does not respond to my voice.

“The healers and your earth doctors say your body is well. You just have to wake up.”

I caress his arm and I allow myself to pretend.

I lay my head down on his chest and his heartbeat soothes my battered soul.

Tears find a way to escape from under my closed eyelids.

“I will always need you and were I a selfish man, I would tie you to me. But you are not my Leonard and I am not the Spock you love.”

I sit up and wipe my tears.

“It is time for you to wake up.”

I kiss his forehead before I place my fingertips over his meld points.

 

***************************

I wade my way through memories.

Some I remember, others are new. But they all have one thing in common.

Spock.

A Spock I do not know and one I know very well.

_Remember._

_Spock? I’m here._

_You must find your way back._

_I don’t know how._

_Follow my voice, ashaya._

_I’m afraid._

_Don’t be. I am here. Follow my voice._

_Spock?_

_I am here. ___

__I wake up gasping for air._ _

__Strong hands wrap around my upper arms._ _

__“It’s alright. Just take slow even breaths.”_ _

__I look at the Vulcan sitting at my bedside._ _

__“Spock.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__The same but not._ _

__“You are not my Spock.”_ _

__“I am not.”_ _

__I fall back and close my eyes._ _

__Just trying to think was giving me headache._ _

__His fingertips touch my temple and the pain recedes._ _

__I sigh._ _

__“Thank you.”_ _

__“It is good to see you conscious again.”_ _

__“What happened?”_ _

__“You have been asleep for five weeks.”_ _

__“What?”_ _

__I sit up quickly and a dizzy spell hits me._ _

__I groan._ _

__The old man helps me lie back down._ _

__“The transfusion took its toll on your body.”_ _

__I squeeze my eyes shut._ _

__“Transfusion?”_ _

__“Your cells were heavily irradiated. It took longer to repair them.”_ _

__“I have no idea what the hell you’re talking about.”_ _

__“Khan. His blood saved you.”_ _

__I look at him._ _

__“So now I have to thank that son of a bitch for my life?”_ _

__“No. You have Spock to thank for that.”_ _

__“So you came back in time just to hear me thank you?” I shake my head. “You should be ashamed.”_ _

__He chuckles._ _

__“Indeed I should.”_ _

__“I’m so tired.”_ _

__“Then rest. I will be here when you wake up.”_ _

__I nod before allowing myself to sleep._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ashaya _: love__


	9. Chapter 9

“Leonard.”

I open my eyes.

I look at the old Spock sitting by my bedside before looking at the young Spock standing by the foot of the bed.

“Spock.”

“I am greatly relieved to see you awake. I have brought you some nourishment.”

“Thanks.”

He inclines his head.

“I shall take my leave. I would like to come by and visit with you tomorrow if that is alright.” The old Spock says standing.

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

He inclines his head before leaving.

I look back at young Spock.

He sets the tray down on the nightstand.

“It seems I have to thank you for saving my life.”

“Thanks are not necessary. I merely did what you would have done.”

“Thank you anyways.”

“You are welcome.”

“So, what’s this about me being under for five weeks?”

“You spent two week in the hospital at headquarters but I thought it best to bring you here where the healers could help you. And since we had no idea in what mental state you would be in, it would be wise if you were somewhere you could not cause much damage.”

“Where exactly is here?”

“New Vulcan.”

“Ah.”

I try to sit up again.

He grasps my elbow and helps me.

He arranges the pillows so that I can recline against them.

It was nice.

He fixes the sheet and blanket making sure to tuck me in before handing me a glass of water.

“Thanks.”

I take a few sips before handing back the glass.

“You have a nice bedside manner, Spock. I think you could have made one hell of a nurse.”

His lips twitch.

“It seems I have missed my calling.”

I chuckle.

“How much do you remember?”

“Not much. It’s all fuzzy. I know people and names. I know I’m the CMO aboard the Enterprise. Everything else is still a bit blank.”

“Do you remember Khan?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I am sure your memories will come back to you soon enough.”

“Yeah.”

He sits down on the bed beside me.

I stare at him.

He stares back.

“What? Are you just gonna sit there and judge me?”

He closes his eyes and his face contorts as if here were in pain.

“Spock?”

He bows his head and his shoulders start shaking.

He takes a gasping breath.

My god.

He was crying.

I’d made a Vulcan cry.

“Spock.”

He hugs me.

I pat his back awkwardly.

His hands pulls me closer against his chest.

His sobs are quiet.

“It’s alright. Just take a few deep breaths.”

“I thought I’d lost you.”

I rest my head against his and I tighten my arms around his shoulders.

“Well, you didn’t. Still here as you can see.”

He pulls back.

His face is wet and his eyes are a bit irritated.

A tear makes its way down his cheek.

I lift my hand and I catch it with my finger.

He takes a hold of my wrist and he presses his cheek into my hand.

He closes his eyes.

“Spock.” I say quietly. 

He takes a shaky breath.

“I’m sorry.” I say.

He kisses the palm of my hand before releasing it.

He sniffs.

“There is nothing for you to apologize for.”

“Clearly there is.”

He looks at me.

“I didn’t mean to make you lose your control.” I tell him.

I know how important it is to Vulcans.

This display of emotion must be hell for him.

“You always have.”

I frown.

“What?”

He cups my face.

“You are fascinatingly illogical and I have realized that it’s what I need.”

My heart picks up speed.

“What are you saying?”

“I am saying that you are the one. We are _k’hat’n’dlawa _.”__

__“Which means what exactly?”_ _

__“That we are half of each others heart and soul.”_ _

__“How poetic.”_ _

__He smiles._ _

__“It is the truth.”_ _

__“How can you be so sure that we’re soul mates?”_ _

__“Because I feel it.”_ _

__“So you’re in love with me?”_ _

__“I am.”_ _

__“Huh.”_ _

__“Indeed.”_ _

__“So are you gonna kiss me or what?”_ _

__He presses his mouth to mine._ _

__He is, surprisingly, a very good kisser._ _

__I groan._ _

__I open my mouth under his._ _

__His hands run down my back as he deepens the kiss._ _

__I lay back down making sure to pull him down with me._ _

__The feel of his body pressing me down was so much hotter than I thought._ _

__I run my hands through his hair and down his back._ _

__I touch the back of his thighs and I grab his ass._ _

__He shudders against me._ _

__I never wanted to stop touching him._ _

__My stomach rumbles loudly._ _

__I break the kiss._ _

__He chuckles._ _

__“Way to ruin the mood, Leonard.” I tell myself._ _

__He cups the side of my face and I look at him._ _

__“We shall continue this at a later time when you are better.”_ _

__“I’m going to hold you to that.”_ _

__He sits up and rearranges the pillows behind my back so that I can sit up._ _

__He places the tray on my lap and sits there watching me._ _

__“This is good.” I say taking a sip of the soup._ _

__“It is a Vulcan specialty.”_ _

__“Tell me about what happened after I died.”_ _

__He lowers his gaze._ _

__I take his hand in mine and he looks at me._ _

__“I just need to know.”_ _

__He nods._ _

__I watch him caress the back of my hand._ _

__It made me feel tingly all over._ _

__“We’ve been selected for the five year mission.”_ _

__“Wow. Bet Jim’s over the moon.”_ _

__“If you are indicating that he is deliriously happy then yes, he is indeed over the moon.”_ _

__I snort._ _

__“So. The old man says Khan’s blood regenerated my cells.”_ _

__“That is correct.”_ _

__“How did you get the bastard to cooperate?”_ _

__“I assure you that we gave him no choice.”_ _

__“Really? And he just went along with it?”_ _

__He is silent._ _

__“Spock.”_ _

__“Khan was unconscious at the time when we asked him to help you.”_ _

__I smile._ _

__“I see.”_ _

__He raises an eyebrow._ _

__“And did you have anything to do with his unconscious state?”_ _

__“I did.”_ _

__I nod._ _

__“Just tell me you beat that son of a bitch to a bloody pulp.”_ _

__He sits up straighter and his chin raises in superiority._ _

__“He was not a bloody pulp but he did incur severe damage under my ministrations.”_ _

__“That’s my Spock.”_ _


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of mutual gratification ahead.

“Five years in space, Bones! Isn’t that great?”

I follow Jim down the corridor.

“Stop talking about it. Just thinking of spending five years in this black void is starting to make me feel claustrophobic.”

“Come on. No one else has ever been chosen for this type of mission. We’re the first.”

“That’s what worries me.”

I catch sight of Spock making his way towards us and my breath catches in my throat.

He is talking with a fellow science officer.

“Bones. I’m disappointed that you don’t think this is cool.”

“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” I sat absently.

Once Spock is close enough, he nods at Jim.

“Mister Spock.” Jim smiles.

“Captain.”

Those dark eyes stare at me.

I stare back.

“Doctor.”

I swallow.

“Spock.”

His arm grazes mine as he passes by.

I turn to watch him walk away.

Once he’s out of view, I turn back to face forward.

Jim is silent.

I look at him.

He stops walking.

“What?” I ask.

He frowns.

“Seriously? You were totally checking Spock out.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“I know that look. I’ve worn it on my own face too many times to count.”

“What look? I don’t have a look.”

“You think Spock is hot.”

“Shut up.”

I can feel myself blushing.

“Bones!” He smiles like a lunatic.

“It’s nothing. So, tell me. Where are we heading first on this fantastic five year mission?”

“No way, that look is not nothing.”

“There is no look! Can you get off of that?”

“Not until you tell me what is up with you and Spock.”

I grab his arm and I lead him to an empty part of the corridor.

“Alright! Just…you have to pretend you don’t know anything.”

“Why?”

“Spock wanted us to tell you together.”

“So there is something to tell.”

“Of course there is or you wouldn’t be acting so annoying.”

“Tell me, tell me, tell me!”

“I can’t tell you here. Let’s go to my office.”

He follows me to sick bay.

“Doctor.” Chapel says coming towards me.

“Later.”

I pull Jim into my office after me.

“So, come on. Spill.”

“Nothing has really happened. We’ve just…kissed a bit. And he told me we were soul mates.”

He pumps his hand in the air.

“I knew it! See? And you fought me on this. I told you what a great guy Spock was. Bet you’re kicking yourself now, huh?”

“Don’t even try to take credit for our relationship.”

“I am totally taking the credit. Bones. I got you guys to speak to each other.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Yes I did. I’m the one who told Spock how much you admired him and it gave him the confidence to keep trying.”

“What?”

He clamps his mouth shut.

“Nothing.”

“You told him I admired him? I told you that in confidence!”

“I know Bones but-”

I point my finger at him and he closes his mouth.

“Get out.”

“Bones, come on. You were going to tell me-”

“The only things I’m going to tell you, and it’s only because you’re the Captain, is that Spock and I are involved in a romantic relationship. That’s it.”

“Bones.”

“Nope. We’ll be submitting an official report. That is all, Captain.”

He sighs.

“I’m sorry alright? Come on Bones, how long are you going to be mad at me?”

“Until my bottle with Romulan ale is refilled.”

He smiles.

“Got it.”

“Good. Now get out.”

“Yes, sir.” He says giving me a sloppy salute.

I reach into my desk drawer and he hurries out of my office.

I smile.

“I still got it.”

****************************

I look up as the door to my quarters opens.

Spock comes in.

I stand.

“Hey.”

He comes towards me.

“Leonard.”

I pull him into a passionate kiss.

His hands press me closer.

I moan into his mouth.

He moves his mouth down my throat.

I take one of his hands and I kiss his knuckles.

“I want you.”

He pulls back.

“I do not wish to rush our relationship.”

I sigh and press my forehead against his chest.

“You’re right. It’s just that you’re so goddamn hot that I can’t wait to get you naked.”

“It cannot be helped, my body temperature is higher than that of humans.”

I frown up at him and slowly his lips curl into a smile.

“You like messing with me don’t you?”

“That is correct.”

I press a hard kiss to his mouth before I force my hands to release him.

I step away and I take a few deep breaths to calm my rapid beating heart.

I grab my glass of bourbon and I take a sip.

“I told Jim about us.”

Spock comes closer.

“We had decided we would approach him together.”

I look at him.

“Yeah, I know. But he caught me checking you out.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“It’s your fault for parading your perfect body around.”

His hand caresses my arm and I shiver.

I take a larger sip of bourbon.

He takes the glass from my hand and sets it on the tabletop.

“I would be lying if I said I was not affected by your presence as well, t’hy’la.”

“Well you hide it very well.”

“I must.”

I place my hand on his chest and he covers it with his own.

“I just wish you’d give in a little bit.”

He leans his forehead against mine.

“I can do that.”

“Really?”

He nods.

I press my lips to his and he kisses me gently.

It was the hottest thing ever.

I groan in frustration as he rejects my attempts to deepen the kiss.

His fingers move lightly down my back.

His light caresses were going to make me come in my pants.

I felt like I was a horny teenager all over again.

“You bastard.” I pant.

His fingers caress the nape of my neck and I gasp.

I didn’t know I had so many erogenous zones.

“When I said ‘give in’, I meant you.” I tell him.

“I know.”

He bites the underside of my jaw lightly and it sends an arrow of pleasure straight down my spine and into my testicles.

I take his left hand and I twine my fingers with his as I come.

I gasp for air and I squeeze my eyes shut as I ride out the waves of pleasure.

He moans into my neck.

I shove him back towards the bed before my weak legs give out.

I climb over him.

He stares up at me, his face and his ears are flushed and I find the tinge of green on his skin beautiful.

“Vulcan hands are sensitive aren’t they?”

I watch him swallow.

“They are.” His voice is low and raspy.

I take his right hand and I kiss each of his knuckle bones before following the path my lips just took with my tongue.

He shivers against me and his eye become intense.

I kiss the back of his hand all the way down to his wrist before I turn his hand over.

I trace the lines of his palm with my tongue.

He moans and he squeezes his eyes shut.

I lick the soft skin between his fingers.

His chest moves rapidly with ever gasping breath he takes.

I suck his ring finger into my mouth and his eyes fly open.

I bite the pad of his finger before soothing it with my tongue.

He moans loudly and his body shudders with his release.

I release his hand.

He sits up quickly and he flips me on my back.

I yelp.

“Damn you’re fast.”

He presses his mouth to mine, his kiss is hard and filthy.

I wrap my arms around his neck.

Just as I feel like I’m about to pass out from lack of oxygen, he break the kiss.

I take deep gasping breaths.

He stares down at me for a long moment before standing.

I push myself up on my elbows.

He removes his uniform shirt and the black shirt follows quickly.

“What are you doing?”

“I thought that was pretty obvious, doctor.”

“You said you didn’t want to rush our relationship.”

“I know what I said.”

“So?”

“So now I want to feel your skin pressed against mine.”

“Okay.”

I sit up and start removing my clothes.

I wasn’t going to say no to a naked Spock.


	11. Chapter 11

“How are things?”

“Very, very good.”

He chuckles.

“It gladdens me to hear that.”

“How are you?”

“I am well. My people are rebuilding their lives at a steady pace. Soon this new planet will seem like home again. In the meantime, there is plenty to keep me occupied.”

“I am glad to hear that, Spock. How’s your dad?”

“He still mourns for my mother but he is resilient.”

“I’ll bet. I’m sure he’s glad he has you there with him.”

He inclines his head.

“It honors me to be able to help him heal. And I cannot deny that I am glad for his company.”

“I bet you’re glad to be able to spend more time with your dad this time around.”

“Indeed. And now that I am older than him, our relationship is not so much of that of father and son but of equals.”

I nod.

“You should come and visit us some time. Take a break from being so damn good at everything.”

He laughs.

“It is true, I am a magnificent specimen.”

I laugh.

“And modest too.”

“I will consider your offer.”

“Lord knows we’ll be glad for the distraction. Your presence might actually help make Jim less annoying.”

He smiles.

“Yes. Jim told me what he did.”

“Can you believe that little jerk is trying to take credit for Spock’s and my relationship?”

“And does he not deserve some credit?”

“Maybe but not all of it. Believe it or not, the majority of the credit goes to you.”

He looks surprised to hear that.

“Me?”

“Yeah. I know you and Spock are two separate individuals but you gave me an insight to Spock and you made me realize that I had judged him wrong. He can’t be all that bad if he grows up to like you.”

His smile is soft and his eyes are a bit sad.

“I am honored to be the reason you are so happy, Leonard.”

“You were the reason I was happy in your timeline and you have given me the opportunity to be just as happy now.” I shake my head. “You still got it old man.”

He laughs outright.

“Thank you.”

“Change the subject before I start crying.” I say wiping my eyes.

“I would enjoy being aboard the Enterprise once again.”

“I’m being serious in my invitation you know.”

“I do know. You would not invite me if you did not mean it.”

I nod.

“Well, consider it. I hear Scotty has a list of questions he wants to ask you.”

“I shall take it under serious consideration.”

“Good.”

He raises his hand in the Vulcan salute.

I raise my hand and I try to separate my fingers to match his own but my fingers won’t stay put.

“How does that salute go?”

He laughs softly.

“Do not concern yourself, Leonard. You never learned how to separate your fingers.”

“You’ll see. I’ll get it this time.”

“I am sure you will. Live long and prosper.”

“Peace and long life, old friend.”

**************************

“So is it safe for me to be in your presence again?”

“I don’t know. Is something stupid going to fall out of your mouth?”

He smiles and takes a seat

“You know me too well, Bones.”

“Ain’t that the truth?”

“I’m sure you’ve noticed that your Romulan ale has been filled.”

“I did.”

“Are you still mad at me?”

I sigh.

“No.”

“Good. I’ve been dying to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“I noticed Spock has been rater light on his feet.”

I glare at him.

He lifts his hands in the air.

“I’m just making a comment.”

“And I’m sure that comment is going to lead to a question about our sex life.”

“Well. I am the reason you are experiencing domestic bliss.”

“Alright, I’m going to allow you to take half of the credit.”

“Half?”

“Yep. The rest of it belongs to Ambassador Spock.”

“Bones.”

“It’s half or nothing.”

“Half it is.”

“Good.”

“So how are you and Spock doing?”

“Fantastic.”

He nods.

“I’m glad for you guys.”

“I know you are.”

“Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

“Please don’t send Spock after me during physicals.”

I snort.

“Are you kidding me? He’s worse than you when it comes to physicals.”

“Thank god.” He says sagging in relief.

“I talked to Ambassador Spock.”

“How is he?”

“Fine. I invited him to come and visit us.”

“Why didn’t I think of that? It would be so cool to have both Spock’s here.”

“Why? So that you can watch them debate each other?”

“Not sure I could ever follow that conversation. I just feel like they haven’t had enough time to bond.”

“That’s not what Spock says.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I think the Ambassador has become a brother/role model/mentor.”

“Huh.”

“I’m glad Spock has someone to talk you. Someone to confide in.”

He smiles.

“The way you have me.”

“Don’t remind me.”

He laughs.

“So are you gonna serve me some of that Romulan ale or what?”

“Don’t push it, kid.”


	12. Chapter 12

I caress my fingers down Spock’s naked chest.

He places his hand on top of my own.

“I never thought I’d be lying naked next to you.” I say.

He looks at me.

“Neither did I.”

I smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you, _ashal-veh _.”__

__I snuggle closer._ _

__His hand lightly caresses my back and I sigh._ _

__I close my eyes._ _

__“Leonard.”_ _

__“Hmm.”_ _

__He gently pushes me onto my back and I look at him._ _

__He leans over me._ _

__“We have not discussed an important aspect of Vulcan relationships but I would like to speak of it now.”_ _

__I sit up._ _

__“What is it?”_ _

__He sits and turns his body so that he’s facing me._ _

__“I would like us to formally bond.”_ _

__“Bond? Like get married?”_ _

__“In essence, yes. Though a bond is much more than a marriage.”_ _

__“What would I have to do?”_ _

__“You must allow me to enter your mind.”_ _

__“You want to do a mind meld.”_ _

__“Yes but it will be permanent.”_ _

__“You mean that you’re going to be in my head all the time?”_ _

__“That is correct.”_ _

__“So you’ll be able to read my thoughts?”_ _

__“No. I will only receive your emotions.”_ _

__“You’ll feel what I feel.”_ _

__“Yes.”_ _

__“And does that work the other way around as well?”_ _

__“You will be able to perceive my emotions, yes.”_ _

__“And you think that’s a good idea? I mean, this is me we’re talking about.”_ _

__He smiles._ _

__“Because it is you is exactly the reason why I want to bond with you.” He says touching my face lightly._ _

__I smile._ _

__“Who knew Vulcan’s could be so romantic?”_ _

__“We must keep some things secret.”_ _

__I snort._ _

__“Right.”_ _

__“Will you consider my offer?”_ _

__“What is there to consider? Let’s do it.”_ _

__He kisses me softly._ _

__“It won’t hurt will it?”_ _

__“It will not.”_ _

__“We don’t have to have some big fancy ceremony do we?”_ _

__“Only the presence of T’Pau is customary in a formal ceremony but she is not necessary in order for us to form the bond. T’Pau is merely there to ensure that we both willingly accept the bond and that the bond, once it’s in place, is strong.”_ _

__“Who is T’Pau?”_ _

__“My grandmother and the head elder.”_ _

__Glad his grandma made it out of Vulcan before it was destroyed._ _

__“Okay.” I say nodding. “So when do you want to do this?”_ _

__“As soon as possible.”_ _

__“You mean right now? But I’m naked.”_ _

__He chuckles._ _

__“Leonard, it is just the two of us. You do not need to put on your uniform.”_ _

__“At least just my underwear.” I say reaching for them._ _

__“If you wish.”_ _

__I pull my underpants on._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__I take a few deep breaths._ _

__For some reason my heart was pounding and my palms felt sweaty._ _

__His fingers lightly caress my cheek._ _

__“Do not look so worried, Leonard.”_ _

__“I just never thought I’d be tying the knot again. And to a man who also happens to be an alien.”_ _

__“So you understand my own dilemma.”_ _

__I glare at him._ _

__He kisses me._ _

__It helps to calm my nerves._ _

__“Okay, I’m ready.”_ _

__He places his fingertips on my temple and jaw._ _

__“My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts.”_ _

__I can feel the heat of Vulcan surround me._ _

__I hold on to Spock’s arms as my mind floods with images._ _

__His eyes are intense as they look at me._ _

__He takes my hand and places it over his meld points._ _

__“Repeat after me.”_ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__“Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.”_ _

__I swallow, my throat clicking._ _

__“Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.”_ _

__I gasp as intense desire floods me._ _

__I try not to squirm as the feeling keeps rushing over me in waves._ _

__I bite my lip to stop myself from coming in my underwear._ _

__“Good call on staying naked.” I tell him._ _

__I moan and my hand falls from Spock’s face._ _

__I grab onto his shoulders._ _

__He removes his hand._ _

__“It is done. We are now one.”_ _

__I push him onto his back and I straddle him._ _

__“Let’s get to the honeymoon part of the night.”_ _

__****************************_ _

__“Ambassador.” I say._ _

__He smiles at me._ _

__“Doctor McCoy. Mister Spock.”_ _

__“Ambassador.” Spock says._ _

__“Spock.” Jim says hugging the old man. “Come on, let me show you around.” Jim says taking the Ambassadors arm._ _

__The old man allows himself to be led._ _

__He looks at me as he passes us._ _

__I smile and he inclines his head._ _

__“I would enjoy it if you accompanied me during the evening meal.” He says._ _

__“I would love to.”_ _

__“Good.”_ _

__I watch him and Jim leave the transporter room._ _

__I look at Spock._ _

__He raises an eyebrow._ _

__“What?”_ _

__He looks at the technician._ _

__“Please accompany me.” He say looking back at me._ _

__I follow him out of the transporter room._ _

__He leads us to a storage room._ _

__“What are we-”_ _

__He grabs my face and he kisses the breath out of my lungs._ _

__I wrap my arms around him._ _

__He releases me._ _

__“Not that I’m complaining but what brought that on?”_ _

__“You enjoy it.”_ _

__“Kissing you? Of course I do.”_ _

__“No. You enjoy making me jealous.”_ _

__“Uhh.”_ _

__I did because I liked the intense way he looked at me._ _

__“I ask that you refrain from flirting with my counterpart.”_ _

__“Hey. In my defense, the old man was looking at me like I was the best plomeek soup he’d ever had.”_ _

__He purses his lips._ _

__I sigh._ _

__“Alright. I’ll stop being so damn charming.”_ _

__“You’re not as charming as you think.”_ _

__I run my hands down his chest and I know he is trying to keep his uninterested face on._ _

__But I can feel his interest._ _

__Boy can I feel it._ _

__I press closer._ _

__“Tell that to the old man.”_ _

__“I shall.”_ _

__I move my hands under his shirts._ _

__“Now hurry up and have sex with me before someone discovers that we’re gone.”_ _

__“I am not pleased with your actions.”_ _

__I pull him into a kiss._ _

__“Save the lecture for later, sex now.”_ _

__He sighs but I know he wants it just as bad as I do._ _

__I lick his knuckles and he pushes me up against the wall._ _

__“Shit.” I moan as he sucks and kisses my neck._ _

__The best thing about being married to a Vulcan was that all those repressed emotions made for fantastic sex._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ashal-veh _: darling__


	13. Chapter 13

“The two of you take a look around that way to the east, you three go down to the west. I’m going to go this way. Meet back here in an hour.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Sir.”

I look at Lieutenant Madock, a young science officer.

“What is it?”

“Commander Spock was very clear that you were not to go off on your own, sir.” She says.

“Is that right? Well, you can tell Commander Spock that I am a capable officer who can do as he pleases.”

“Yes, sir.”

I turn and walk away.

A medical and science team beamed down to explore the uninhabited planet.

The computer showed that there was animal life but that’s all.

The scan also showed that there were plenty of vegetation and I had been eager to come and see if any could be used for medicinal purposed.

I wanted to see if any could be used as substitutes for the plants that had been native to Vulcan.

Chapel and another of my nurses had come along, as well as three science officers Spock had chosen.

Spock had wanted to come along but he was busy with some experiment or other and could not be away for too long.

Jim couldn’t come because he had to stay on the bridge since Spock was unavailable.

I walk around looking at the trees and studying some vegetation.

I mark a few that came close to being the same as the plants of Vulcan.

I hear something movement behind me and I whirl around making sure to take my phaser in my hand.

I stand there and listen but there is no movement.

The hair on the back of my neck stands up and I can feel eyes on me.

I start to make my way back the way I came.

Hands grab me from behind and I drop my phaser and my scanner.

I struggle.

“Quiet.”

I pull back in between the trees.

I am turned around and pressed back against the tree.

I wince as my back connects with the bark.

“Who the hell are you?”

I look at my assailant.

He was older than me by at least ten years.

He was my height but he was thinner.

He wasn’t wearing a uniform, just a dark colored robe.

Blue eyes glare at me.

“I’m Doctor McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise. Who the hell are you?”

“That’s not possible.”

I move away from the tree.

His phaser is pointed at me.

“Who are you?” I ask again.

“Doctor McCoy of the U.S.S. Enterprise.” He says.

“Who are you really?”

“I just told you!”

“We can’t both be Doctor McCoy.”

“My thoughts exactly. Now tell me you’re real name and exactly where the hell we are.”

“We are on a Class M planet, no humanoid life force indicated in the initial scan. Which makes you a surprise.”

“I was hiding in the cave. Surface scans would not have detected me.” He says.

“How do you know that?”

“I already told you that, son. Or were you not listening?”

His southern accent was stronger than mine so at least there was a high probability that he was human.

Unless the aliens disguised themselves as humans.

“I was listening but I don’t believe you.”

“Take the scanner and check me then.”

“Or we could just beam aboard the Enterprise.”

He chuckles.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you? And when you have me on your ship, then what? I’m taken hostage? Used as bait to lure the Enterprise here?”

“Listen old man-”

He puts a hand around my throat and he squeezes threateningly.

He was stronger than he looked.

“You call me old one more time and I’ll show you never to disrespect your elders. Got it?”

I nod.

“Good.”

He releases me.

“I think you’re confused.” I say touching my neck.

“I’m not confused. I know exactly who I am.”

“I don’t think you do.”

“I’m done talking to you. You’re trying to make me believe that you’re me. Well I’m not falling for it.”

A hand appears near his neck and I watch my doppelganger drop unconscious to the forest floor.

I look at Spock.

“Oh thank god.”

“I ordered that you not go alone.”

I throw my arms around him.

“I am so glad now more than ever that you’re snooping around in my brain.”

*******************************

“Well?”

“He’s who he says he is.”

“How is this possible?” Jim asks.

“I don’t know but scans show that he is Leonard McCoy, albeit a slightly older version.”

“How old?”

“He’s forty-two.”

“Mister Spock, any theories?”

“None, Captain. I cannot explain his presence.”

“We’re going to have to wait until he wakes up. Maybe he can shed some light on how he came to be on that planet.” I tell them.

Jim nods.

“I’m going to assign security personnel outside of sickbay. If he is you then the first thing he’s going to try and do is escape.”

“I strapped him down but security couldn’t hurt.” I say.

“Very well. Dismissed.”

I make my way out of the briefing room.

Spock puts a hand on my arm to stop me.

I look at him.

“Leonard.”

I pat his hand.

“I’m fine, Spock. Honest.”

“I know how distressed you are.”

“It’s just weird. I guess I finally know how you felt when you stood face to face with Ambassador Spock.”

He nods.

“It is a most strange feeling is it not?”

“It is.”

“If you need me-”

“I know. Thanks.”

He inclines his head.

I take his hand in both of mine and I squeeze his fingers.

“I better get back.”

“Very well.”

I release his hand and I make my way to sickbay.

When I get there, the first thing that reaches my ears is profanity.

I make my way over to the bed housing my counterpart.

He’s sitting up and he’s struggling against the restraints holding him captive.

“Alright, that’s enough.” I say.

“Get me out of these restrains. Now.” He demands.

I check his vitals.

“It would be best if you calmed down. I wouldn’t want you to give yourself a stroke.”

“Don’t you smirk at me you little bastard.”

“You’re scaring my nurses.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time. In fact, I prefer it that way. It makes them do things correctly the first time around.”

I nod.

“I understand that.”

“Unstrap me. Now.”

“I have a few questions first.” I say crossing my arms.

“I’m not telling you anything. At least not until I see Jim and Spock.”

“I don’t think-”

“I don’t care what you think. Just get them down here.”

I press my lips together angrily.

Who did this old man think he was giving me orders?

“Fine.”

I move away to the intercom.

“McCoy to bridge.”

“Bridge here.”

“Jim. I need you in sickbay. Bring Spock with you.”

“We’ll be there shortly.”

I stand at the foot of the bed.

Blue eyes glare at me.

“We’re really not so similar are we?” I say.

I don’t know why Ambassador Spock saw his Leonard when he looked at me.

I don’t think I looked a lot like the old man.

“I think we both know who got the looks.” He snorts.

“Yeah. Me.”

He narrows his eyes at me.

Jim and Spock come in.

“What’s the matter, Bones?”

“What the hell is this?” McCoy asks.

“Captain Kirk and Commander Spock.”

“Are you serious? They’re barely out of diapers!”

I snort.

“I am Captain Kirk.”

“No you’re not. You’re not my Captain Kirk and that is not my Spock.”

Spock crosses his arms behind his back.

“I assure you that we are who we say we are.”

“Bullshit.”

“You’re not in Kansas anymore.” I tell him.

“Who the fuck thought it was a brilliant idea to let kids run the Enterprise?”

“Starfleet Command.”

“It’s all gone to hell and a hand basket.”

“This is so cool isn’t it?” Jim asks.

I glare at him.

“I do not understand.” Spock says.

“Then let me explain it to you, hobgoblin. That guy right there can’t be Leonard McCoy because I’m Leonard McCoy!”

“We’re both Leonard McCoy.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Sure is. As impossible as curing xenopolycythemia.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Small traces in your system.”

He presses his lips together.

“How can I believe you’re me? You’re just a stupid kid.” He says.

I snort.

“I think you’re confusing me with Jim.”

“Ain’t that the truth?”

“I am still the Captain and I demand respect.” Jim says.

“Funny, Captain.” McCoy snides.

“How did you come to be on that planet?” Spock asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t remember much.”

“What do you remember?”

“I was visiting my….wife Natira on her new home planet. Then I remember waking up in the forest.”

“Wife?” I ask.

“Yes. We were married on Yonada. Apparently they don’t believe in divorce. Spock wasn’t happy.”

“You didn’t touch anything?” Jim asks.

“There was this monument. It had some strange symbols on it.”

“Oh boy.” I say passing a hand over my face.

“I barely even touched it!”

“And here you are.” I tell him.

“And you have yet to tell me exactly where ‘here’ is.”

“What was the stardate at your last known location?” Spock asks.

“The stardate is 5476.”

“That is incorrect. The stardate is 2259.”

“Holy shit. I travelled back in time.”

“It would appear so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet no one saw this coming.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter, I have other Spone fics waiting for me. Thank you for your comments and kudos.

“Finally! What in the hell is the meaning of this?”

I enter my counterpart’s quarters.

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m confined to these quarters. I’m the one with seniority around here.”

“But you are no longer a Starfleet officer. You’re retired, remember?”

“Retired my ass. I am still an active member of this team and you-”

“So sorry to disappoint you but we did agree that we would keep your presence a secret. Unless you want to be stuck back at Headquarters or on a Starbase somewhere.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to be a prisoner on this ship. I’m still a doctor, damn it!”

“Don’t be so dramatic.”

“Dramatic? Where exactly am I supposed to live now? On some remote planet?”

Partially true.

“We’re taking you to New Vulcan. There’s someone there who will be overcome with joy at seeing you.”

“I’ll bet. I can just imagine all the Vulcan’s jumping for joy.”

I snort.

“That would be a sight.” 

“And what do you mean ‘New Vulcan’? What happened to Vulcan?”

I clear my throat.

“It was destroyed.”

“Destroyed?”

I nod.

He sits down.

“What about all the people on the planet?”

“Their race was severely diminished. But the elders were saved so at least that’s something.”

“Tell me you got the son of a bitch that did it.”

“We did.”

“Good. Now tell me. Sarek and Amanda, did they make it out?”

“Sarek made it. Mrs. Sarek was lost in the evacuation.”

He shakes his head. 

“Amanda was a great woman.”

“I never had the pleasure.” I say sitting down next to him.

“I met her on several occasions. She was always at Sarek’s side during diplomatic missions. When you looked at them you could tell they loved each other greatly. And she was very proud of all that Spock had accomplished. She was always more than willing to share stories of her son with me. She was also there when Spock and I were bonded.”

He wipes his eyes and I pat his back.

“Thanks.” He says as I hand him a tissue.

“So you and Spock huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I think Jim is starting to doubt his beauty.”

He chuckles.

“He gets enough attention.”

“I guess he’s just wondering if Spock ever chose him as a suitable companion.”

“I’m sure there a few parallel universes out there where he and Spock got together.”

“Yeah, ones where we’re dead.” I add.

He laughs.

“You know, this Spock is very young.”

“Yeah.”

“He was not that young when I met him.”

“Really?”

“The stick was fully lodged up his Vulcan ass by the time I started serving aboard the Enterprise.”

I snort.

“Are you and this young new model an item?”

“We are.”

“That’s too bad because I wouldn’t have minded taking him for a test drive.”

“Keep your hands to yourself old man.”

“I may be older than you but that just means I’ve had the time to learn what he likes.”

I glare at him.

“Don’t worry. I respect the sanctity of marriage. I’m assuming of course that you were smart enough to tie him down.”

“I did.”

He nods.

“It’s been one hell of a day. I could really use a drink.”

“Romulan ale?”

“Kid, you read my mind.”

********************************

“Ambassador.”

“Doctor McCoy.”

“It’s good to see you.”

“And you. I must say, I am surprised to see you here.”

“Sorry to drop by unexpectedly but we had to make a detour.”

“Oh? And may I inquire as to what this detour is?”

“Spock. Holy shit. Spock!”

Spock looks over my shoulder.

His eyes widen.

“How is this possible?”

My counterpart throws his arms around the Ambassador.

The old man closes his eyes and his arms hold McCoy closer.

“Leonard.” He whispers.

“I am here, _ashayam _. I’m here.” McCoy says.__

__I was getting teary eyed watching their reunion._ _

__I should probably give them some privacy but I couldn’t make myself move._ _

__The Ambassador pulls back and his hands cup McCoy’s face._ _

__His eyes study the face of my counterpart._ _

__“How have you come to be here?”_ _

__“Turns out that when you spend too much time with Jim you’re bound to start acting stupid.”_ _

__The Ambassador raises an eyebrow._ _

__McCoy sighs._ _

__“I touched something.”_ _

__The Ambassador chuckles._ _

__“You’re just like I remember.”_ _

__“So are you. I mean, you’re older but I recognize your face. That other Spock is too young.”_ _

__“Indeed.”_ _

__“Why are you here?”_ _

__“I came back.”_ _

__“Willingly?”_ _

__“By accident. I shall explain it to you in due time.”_ _

__McCoy nods._ _

__“How long have you been here?”_ _

__“A few years.”_ _

__“Your dad?”_ _

__“Younger than me now.”_ _

__McCoy chuckles._ _

__“At least now he can’t treat you like a kid.”_ _

__“That is indeed true.”_ _

__“Well. Aren’t you going to show me where you live?”_ _

__“Forgive my rude manners.”_ _

__“Nothing new there. You were always rude.” McCoy smiles._ _

__The Ambassador caresses his face._ _

__I clear my throat._ _

__The Ambassador looks at me._ _

__“Excuse us, Leonard.”_ _

__“No problem.”_ _

__“Thanks, kid.” McCoy says taking the Ambassador’s arm._ _

__I nod._ _

__I watch them walk away._ _

__****************************_ _

__“I am glad my counterpart has been reunited with his Leonard.”_ _

__“He’s not exactly his Leonard.”_ _

__“But he is similar to how the Ambassador remembers him.”_ _

__“Yeah. I’m glad he won’t be lonely anymore.” I tighten my arms around Spock. “I don’t know what I would do if you ever left me.” I tell him quietly._ _

__He kisses my head._ _

__“I would gladly take that burden unto myself and spare you the sorrow.”_ _

__My heart cannot possibly expand anymore to accommodate the love I feel for this wonderful man._ _

__My throat constricts and my eyes water._ _

__We both knew that there was a high probability that he would outlive me._ _

__In fact, that was a given._ _

__I would be lucky to live over ninety years of age._ _

__Vulcans lived to be three hundred, probably even longer._ _

__I wipe my eyes._ _

__Alright._ _

__Time to stop being so sentimental._ _

__This was our honeymoon damn it and I planned to enjoy it._ _

__I sit up._ _

__He looks up at me._ _

__“If I hadn’t just declared my love for you in front of our family and friends, I’d do it again right now.”_ _

__He smiles softly._ _

__His hand caresses my cheek and I close my eyes._ _

__Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that he would be the one I’d end up with._ _

__I push him onto his back and I straddle him._ _

__His hands hold my hips in place._ _

__“Your dad is in the next room.”_ _

__“I am aware.”_ _

__“Let’s see just how quiet you can be.”_ _

__I take his hand and I suck two of his fingers into my mouth._ _

__He moans loudly._ _

__I smile around his fingers._ _

__It would be awkward tomorrow morning but right now I had a Vulcan to pleasure._ _

__“Do you still have your professor uniform?”_ _

__He looks at me._ _

__Already there is a slight flush on his face and it’s only a few minutes before he starts sweating._ _

__He presses his lips together to stop himself from moaning again._ _

__I delicately bite the skin between his fingers._ _

__He growls and sits up._ _

__He pushes me onto my back._ _

__He presses his lips against mine in a brutal kiss._ _

__I wrap my arms and legs around him._ _

__“I love you. I love you.”_ _

__I moan as he makes his way down my chest._ _

__He raises his head and looks at me._ _

__I touch his face._ _

__He places his hand over mine._ _

__He kisses the inside of my wrist._ _

__“There will never be anyone else for me, Leonard. In this life and the next you are and shall always be my love.”_ _

__“You romantic bastard.”_ _

__The End._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _ashayam _: beloved__
> 
> __I couldn’t leave Spock Prime hanging again. He deserves a happy ending._ _


End file.
